The Four Agreements

Written By Kasen Dudley

Summary of The Four Agreements

By Don Miguel Ruiz

A practical guide to living with less stress, more clarity, and stronger self-worth

Why This Book Matters

We grow up agreeing to rules, roles, and beliefs, many of which don’t serve us. The Four Agreements offers a mental reset. Ruiz helps us see how we get stuck in patterns of people-pleasing, self-judgment, and emotional reactivity and how we can get free.

This isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being more conscious, more grounded, and more you.

The Four Agreements (with REaL LIFE APPLICATION)

1. Be Impeccable With Your Word

Your words have power over others, but especially over yourself. Every time you speak, you're planting a seed. Are you planting something helpful or harmful?

🛠 What You Can Do:

  • Speak with intention, even about small things. Words have ripple effects.

  • Catch yourself when venting turns into blaming, and steer back to honesty and clarity.

  • Use your voice to encourage, not to stir doubt or negativity.

"You can measure the impeccability of your word by your level of self-love."

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally

People act based on their story, not yours. When you internalize their opinions, moods, or behavior, you give your peace away.

🛠 What You Can Do:

  • When someone criticizes or ghosts you, remind yourself: “This is about them, not me.”

  • Praise? Please take it in, but don’t depend on it.

  • Trust your own opinion of yourself more than anyone else's.

“Even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you.”

3. Don’t Make Assumptions

We fill in blanks with stories. Then we react to the stories as if they’re true. Most conflict, hurt feelings, and overthinking stem from assumptions.

🛠 What You Can Do:

  • Ask before assuming: “What did you mean by that?”

  • Clarify your needs: “I’m not sure if I explained that clearly, let me try again.”

  • Don’t assume people know how you feel—or that you know how they do.

“All the drama you’ve lived was rooted in making assumptions and taking things personally.”

4. Always Do Your Best

Your “best” isn’t always 100%. It fluctuates based on sleep, stress, emotions, or energy levels. But showing up with intention—that’s what matters.

🛠 What You Can Do:

  • Let go of perfectionism. Be honest about what your best looks like today.

  • When you fall short, ask, “Did I do my best given the situation?” Then adjust.

  • Keep showing up. Consistency builds self-trust.

“Your best is never going to be the same from one moment to the next.”

Final Thought

Living by these four agreements won’t make life perfect, but it will make it lighter. Less emotional reactivity. Fewer regrets. More peace. More confidence. More room to be yourself.

💡 Start small:

  • Pick one agreement to focus on this week.

  • Write it on a sticky note or in your phone.

  • When things get loud in your head, come back to it.

Kasen Dudley